Selling More Socks Won’t Save You

Leadership is difficult. Not impossible. Taking an honest look at how you show up in the world? Also difficult. Also not impossible. Last week I attended an art gallery opening and ran into an old friend, an ultra runner.

Naturally, we started talking about what shoes she was into. Then she said something unexpected. “You know what’s actually cumbersome? Socks.” She explained that she could never find matching pairs, she had stopped caring about them, and honestly didn’t see much value in buying them anymore.

Interesting.

Because just days earlier I had been talking with a client focused on increasing UPT’s (Units Per Transaction). Translation: Sell more socks. A perfectly reasonable business goal. Except there was a problem.

Managers weren’t connecting the dots with their teams. The message became: “We need to sell more socks.”

And the response became: “Okay…”

No excitement.
No ownership.
No curiosity.
No results.

Because goals based on the owner's agenda without meaning feel like pressure. What struck me was this: My friend wasn’t anti-sock. She simply had a belief. Socks are annoying. They disappear. They don’t matter.

Our staff members carry beliefs too. A high school student working a sales floor doesn’t think like an owner.

The owner sees:

1. Cash flow
2. Margin
3. UPT
4. Profitability

The employee sees:

1. Awkward conversations about feet
2. Customer reactions
3. Looking to pushy
4. Not understanding why socks matter

And managers get stuck in the middle. So often they default to process. Ask every customer about socks. Mention socks. Move on socks by making people try on socks.

Robotic.

But robotic doesn’t create connection. And connection is where results live both with the owner to Manager and manager to sales staff. 

Then I found myself back in my own leadership mirror. I thought I want results. But what I really wanted was alignment.

Those are not the same thing.

Because alignment slows you down.

Alignment asks questions. Instead of: “Why aren’t they selling socks?” You have to ask: “What do they believe about selling socks?” Instead of: “They should know better.” You ask: “What have I not helped them connect yet?” Instead of: “Just execute.” You ask: “What does success feel like from their perspective?”

Maybe that looks like gathering the team and asking:

1. How do you personally feel about socks?
2. What objections do customers give?
3. What conversations feel awkward?
4. What have you seen work?

Then role play. Bad version first. The robotic interaction. Then the human version. Teach observation. Teach curiosity. Teach connection. Because if your managers only know how to drive process, they will accidentally teach your staff how to perform instead of connect.

And customers feel that.

This is where the mirror comes back.

As owners and leaders, what stories are we telling ourselves?

1. They don’t care.
2. They’re lazy.
3. Nobody owns anything.
4. I have to do everything.
5. It is a generational thing…

Maybe. Or maybe people are waiting to understand. Maybe they don’t feel safe enough to say they don’t get it. Maybe they don’t feel heard.

If true alignment is what we actually want, then we have to slow down enough to listen. Because listening uncovers beliefs. Beliefs reveal blocks. And until we can see our own blocked beliefs, we can’t help others move through theirs.

So this week, before pushing harder, Ask yourself:

Do I want to push my agenda? Or do I want true alignment?

Because the answer changes everything.

If the goal is alignment, then the questions change. Not: “How do I get my team to sell more socks?” But: “How do I help my team understand people?” How do we create training that teaches observation instead of scripts? How do we create safe places to practice instead of fear of failure? How do we help managers translate business goals into human connection?

Because if your training only teaches process, your staff will become robotic.

If your training teaches curiosity, your staff will become adaptive. Start here.

Bring your team together and ask:

1. What beliefs do we hold about this goal?
2. What assumptions are we making about customers?
3. What customer stories are we ignoring?
4. What conversations feel uncomfortable?
5. What would great connection actually look like?

Then role play. Run the bad version first. The forced script.  The awkward upsell. The “Would you like socks?” asked without curiosity.

Then run the connected version. Teach your team to look for clues. Teach them to ask questions. Teach them to listen. One framework I come back to is this:

1. Do I like you?
2. Do you listen to me?
3. Do you make me feel important?
4. Do you understand me?
5. Do I trust and believe you?

If the answer is no at any point, people stop buying.

Not because of socks. Because they don’t feel connected. Take my friend from the art gallery. Her story was not: “I hate socks.” Her story was: “I don’t see the value.” Those are very different. Profiling her would sound like: “She doesn’t buy socks.” Connection sounds like: “What makes socks frustrating for you?” Now we are in curiosity. Now we have data. Now we can create value. And this isn’t about socks. Socks are simply the symptom.

Whether you are leading a sales floor, a company, a family, or a team, people rarely align because they were told. They align because they were heard.

That’s the difference between agenda and alignment.

And that’s where lasting culture starts.